Save Our Souls

I graduated from the Teach For India fellowship last week. With these lofty ideas that somehow I had helped mould the future for some children. And that these children will be the leaders a few years hence and their strength, courage and wisdom will be a deterrent to the darkness and monsters that run rampant now. I must admit, I was so preoccupied with the graduation ceremony, my part in it, what I’d have worn to it that for the days preceding it, I did not care what was happening in the country that I had so proudly helped (in my opinion) to shape.

Serves me right for living in a bubble.

The news incidents of the last couple of weeks have been the biggest antidote to my complacency of thinking that (attempts to) teaching children values like respect, empathy, friendship, grit, awareness is going to bring even the tiniest deviation in where we are headed as a people. For anybody to have a future, there is a precursor of surviving the present. Which is what seems most bleak now.

One of the things that we had learnt as a part of the fellowship was that to truly guide children to a better future, it was important to understand their truth. Only then would we be able to contextualize the hope that we could provide to them. Take out the truth and the hope might be false or not make sense. Take out the hope and the truth would suffocate them.

Cut to the present – in the last week itself, there have been numerous distressing, disgusting and depraved news incidents coming from all over the country; of people conspiring towards, committing or condoning violations like no other. And these were just reported cases. Who knows how many never got reported? Amidst news of people supporting, justifying and pardoning acts of rapes, murders, riots and massacres, I’ve been struggling to give myself even a sliver of hope.

And that reminded me of the balance between truth and hope.

Before I try to find that elusive bit of hope, I probably need to understand the truth behind these acts.

Now I’m asking this question to whoever can give me an answer with substance – What kind of human does one have to be to dehumanize an entire class of people based on their religion, social status, skin colour or gender? Forget a class, how does one dehumanize even one person? Is it something circumstantial? Psychological? Pathological? Genetic? Would something have gone wrong in their childhood? Or in their education?

I am trying to look for trends. Gender doesn’t classify – there are males and females alike. (Maybe the third gender will be our saviour. Who knows?) Maybe belonging to a particular Faith or Spirituality? Again, it doesn’t help. These perpetrators have included various spiritual leaders themselves (regardless of faith or being self-proclaimed or appointed). Educational background doesn’t seem to help either – we’ve had doctors, lawyers, police officers complicit in this. The only clause in educational background is that we don’t have set standards in or even a proper definition of education.

At this point, I don’t have any other clues. Hence the question – what does it take for one human being to look at another human being but not see them as humans? Until we understand, I doubt we will be able to devise deterrents or punishments. And until we understand this truth, any hope that we give ourselves will be as shallow as these threats to humanity masquerading as humans themselves.  

Someone had better start talking. And soon.

~K.

The Truant

Drawn towards the silence,
away from the noise -
both familiar and strange
And that creepy human voice
Some days are like that, I guess.

Days that go wrong without a reason.
Or good for that matter.
And you're left looking for logic,
Though you know it's just plain chatter.
Some days feel like that, I guess.

Feelings that run wild
All over your spectrum of emotions.
With, without, nowhere in between;
Sweetness and sadness in crazy proportions.
Some days seem that like that, I guess.

Things that seem one way
But may be completely different, altogether.
Like people interchanging roles -
Friend, foe, mother, father, brother.
Some people are like that, I guess.

The long way home

So it turns out that last days at work aren't quite as dramatic as I had thought. There's no music playing in the background, no montage of significant moments projected anywhere, depending on the time or place - there may not even be anyone seeing you off. It turns out that the entire rush of sentimentality that I was imagining was exactly that - imaginary.

It's just another day that you exit the office. Perhaps through a different gate. Perhaps in a different mood. But the same scene as any other day. The only difference might be the route that you choose to take on the way back home.

As in the case of life, it's only your circle who is affected or interested.

All goes to show how closely a part of life can resemble life itself.

C'est la vie!


~K.

Gosh!

I'm almost scared to come to this site now. It might bite, you know. Or worse, it may have forgotten me.

I've been wanting to write for a very long time now. If for nothing else, then just to say that life of a blogger does not get over after marriage. In fact there's more to write about. More people. More ceremonies. More food. More everything!
In fact I did write one day you know. And that too on a piece of paper! With a pencil! Beat that!

Anyway.. I feel like I've been running around the whole country all this time. From Seattle to Delhi in Dec end. Then to Chennai in Jan. Weekend trips to Bangalore. Jan end to Delhi. And then to Calcutta for the wedding. Then to Chinsurah. To my newly wed house :D. Then to Hyderabad. Again to Chennai. And finally to Bangalore. Then some weekend trips.. one to Delhi (more about that later). But mostly to Hyderabad. Because that's where the husband was, you see. Was - until 2 weeks ago.
And now I'm finally settling down in my own life in my cozy rented apartment (which, btw, we are furnishing as if it was Disney's Castle!)

Why am I telling you all this? 1 - as a matter of explanation of my truancy. 2 - because I'm excited. Nervous too.. but basically excited! :-)

Well Well Well... I'll cut this one here. It's 1 in the night and I've been up finishing off some office work. Working under pressure makes me hyper active I guess. Sometimes even I get surprised at what all I'm able to achieve. Like posting an article on my blog for example... ;-)

More later. And not as late as this post. I promise!

Love to all.
Good luck and God bless!

Cheers always. I mean ALWAYS!

~K.

I quote ...

Mark Twain's works. Excerpts from his travelogue 'Following the Equator' —

"This is indeed India; the land of dreams and romance, of fabulous wealth and fabulous poverty, of splendor and rags, of palaces and hovels, of famine and pestilence...the country of a thousand nations and a hundred tongues, of a thousand religions and two million gods, cradle of the human race, birthplace of human speech, mother of history, grandmother of legend, great-grandmother of tradition... the one sole country under the sun that is endowed with an imperishable interest for alien prince and alien peasant, for lettered and ignorant, wise and fool, rich and poor, bond and free, the one land that all men desire to see, and having seen once, by even a glimpse, would not give that glimpse for the shows of all the rest of the globe combined...Its marvels are its own; the patents cannot be infringed; imitations are not possible."

India is my country. I love my country. And I am proud of it.

Jai Hind!


~K.

I'm back... and how!

It's been about a million years since I last updated my blog... And I've been told to drink more coffee if not resume thinking my own stuff to post on this... So well.. here I am.. trying to make up for the last (lost) 2 months (million years!!).

This is how life has been in the roller coaster since October -

November -
1. Lots of e-running around and chasing mail id's and processes and systems for getting a confirmed date for my Visa stamping appearance in Chennai for December. And why? Only to prevent my home-going trip from being jeopardized by "Project Requirements"... Oh Boss... the things that one has to do to get some work done.
2. Billy Joel concert. Followed by Process Cert exam (which I thankfully cleared!) and a helluva crazy Diwali celebration... comprising a temple visit, free food at the temple, firecrackers (again) at the temple, gambling at home, general singing and dancing (at home again!). Basically taking care of the "Life" part of "Work / Life Balance" :D
3. Friends visiting and Visiting friends!! In 3 subsequent weekends. Diwali weekend, the one after that and then for Thanksgiving. What more can one ask for? :-)
4. Thanksgiving - This one almost deserves a post of its own. Let's see what justice I can do in 1 paragraph - Car accident (a leeetle more than a Fender Bender). Trip to Portland. A bit of Late night Thanksgiving shopping. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall! Late night party. More shopping next day. More partying in the evening! Still more shopping and partying the next day! This is what happens when 9 crazy people meet for an extended weekend in 1 house!
5. Nov end - Homeward bound on Nov 30th! Aaaaahhhh.. Heaven!

December -
1. Reached Delhi late night on 1st. Early hours of 2nd.
2. Attended my beeeeshhht friend's wedding on 2nd.
3. Short trip to Chennai on 3rd - Missed a flight. Got another ticket. Reached office. Met a LOT of friends. Talked a LOT to all of them. Went out for dinner with friends. Got my visa stamped the next day. Again went to office and met friends and talked to them and went out for dinner.
4. Back in Delhi the next day. Family Reunion at home. What more can I say... :-)
5. Off to Nainital for my sister's wedding. Wonnnnnderful time. Will put up some pics here maybe.
6. Back in Delhi again. Lots of shopping. Lots of eating. And Lots of packing.
7. Flight back to US. Me and Mom!
8. Yesterday - Reached Seattle safely. Me and Mom and our luggage. And we shall live happily ever after... At least for the next 3 months..

That's how my calendar has been since I last signed into my blogspot. And that's about it for now. There'll be more. If not about me then about this lovely lady who's come to stay with me leaving her own home behind in land far far away! We hope to have fun. And we hope that the weather doesn't play spoil sport. And if it does, then we'll head off to warmer places in the country. Last thing that I need to pray for now is less work and more holidays!! :-)
Amen.

More later!

~K.

It's all a lie....

People say it's a small world... It's not. It's huge...
Don't trust that statement.

It's not a small world....

~K.

I've come to look for America....

Pride -

Day before yesterday was the 4th of July.. Or should I say THE 4th of July. And like most of the typical tourists, I went to NYC to watch the fireworks. Let me add for the sake of information, my current state is somewhat handicapped as I have a sprained ankle (courtesy tennis) and though it happened last Sunday, I still hobble along my way with a slight limp.

Now, back to ummmm.... yesterday. Me and about 15 of my other colleagues went from Stamford to Manhattan for the fireworks. It was raining and we hoped that the display won't be cancelled. To our relief it wasn't. We were completely enraptured by the 30 minute show. The sky was bright with some lovely patterns - stars, cubes even smileys. :-) The way it was synchronized was, in one word, Brilliant! Suddenly there went a shot through the dark clouds and the next moment there was a burst of light above us. Looked like a really close view of the stars. And we felt like kids, clapping and cheering at all those lovely patterns. And after it was all over, I was left thinking - Here's a nation which takes pride in herself. And this is not just evident from the fireworks celebrating her independence. It's just about everywhere. It's in the way people live, work, the way they take care of their families and friends and even visitors like me. They show their best to the world, because that's what they believe they are.

All that long walk on the sprained ankle and standing to watch the fireworks for a half hour didn't feel as strenuous after all. And yes, I was impressed. So, Happy Birthday America!!!

*******

And Prejudice (??) -


Yesterday, the 5th, I was travelling from NYC to Miami. To meet my friend. (One of the best in the world!!) . I reached the airport well in time. And was waiting like all other passengers for the boarding to be announced. While I waited, I pulled out the book I had been reading - The Punjab Story. Finally, when the boarding was announced, I walked to the gate (with the still swollen ankle). Just before I reached the gate, a lady pulled me over for a security check. Not everyone was checked. I complied. They checked my laptop bag and my handbag. And I was frisked. I asked what the reason was for this "special treatment", but I was asked to proceed without an answer. Yes there were a few more in this line, but I couldn't quite make out the common factor. Was it because I was carrying 2 bags.. I don't think so. Was it because of the book I was reading? Or simply my Indian looks? I wouldn't know. 'Coz they never told me. And I was too disgusted to ask further questions.

And now, to all my very dear friends who have been trying to convince me to take up a job here and settle down in the US, this is my answer. I'd rather be a first class citizen in my own country even if I have to live with a few inconveniences here and there, than stay here in comfort, but never belong...

*******

... And Affection. -


Same day - July 5th. Seated next to me in my flight was an old gentleman, also going to Miami. He seemed to pick up conversations with utmost ease. And so I followed suit again. An interesting fellow I must say. He asked me where I was from; and when I told him I was from India, the conversation turned towards topics ranging from food to places in India to music in India (we even talked about Apache Indian!!) and even mindsets of Indian men and women. And let me clarify, it was him who was doing most of the talking. He had seemed a little flirtatious at first. Like most men here are. But flirting or not, he ended up giving me quite a few pieces of advice. Things that I always knew, but never really thought about. Coming right after the disparaging incident at the boarding gate, this was a most welcome change. And I thought - that's another face of the country called America.

All in all... not just a brick in the wall... but well... a wall for sure. And though the grass is much greener on the other side, it's a pasture I wouldn't really like to wander...


~K.

ps: the title is inspired from the S&G song - America.

Home... Suite Home

Life in fast lane??? Hmmm ... well.. true... at least in the day time... night time is more like 'Life in the Last lane'... and what a lane... whooo boy!! Slowpoke!!!

Today I was lucky enough to get out of office at 6... a feat I was never able to manage in Chennai... And considering that the weather was kinda nice all day today, it seemed such a blessing... Ah well... I kinda counted my eggs pretty soon... should have at least waited until i reached home... er the suite rather...

Once you are back from office there's not much that you can do... without a car that is... which is what I am currently... It feels nothing less than a house arrest... again... suite arrest.... and there's NOTHING sweet about it... bahhh !!! Am I cribbing??? Well no.. not really... coz I have friends who are gifted with a car (read SSN) and a credit card (read SSN)... and are also gifted with a couple of have not friends like me who dont have a ... yeah yeah... you got it... getting smart or what....

So now I'm just coming back from the community center... after a game of pool... and guess what... I managed to pot in some 8 or 9 balls in just 4 games!!!! Am I a pool shark or what... ;) And that was followed by a game of table tennis as well... Now I dont want to show off my sporting abilities... but I'm atleast a good sport... and I guess that's all I will say....

Am back in home.. suite home... trying to figure out what to do with my time until I fall asleep. I can read... but I'll start crying coz I'll be missing my glasses so badly... I can watch TV... but somehow.. after 2 years of CAS infested Chennai, the idiot box doesnt interest me much... I guess I HAVE become smarter... or so I'd like to believe... Hence I turn to what I like doing.. writing... typing in this case... Thank God for broadband.. and the company for the laptop... ;)
I guess I could try and cook something up... something edible I mean ... but nahhhh... too lazy... So a glass of milk will have to do... I'm making up in advance for the days ahead that I will spend gorging on all sorts of awesome food.... If gluttony IS a sin, let me atone for it now itself...
All you who have the privilege of getting good food on your tables and into your mouths right down to your stomachs... stay reeeeeeeeeeally really away from me.... because just in case gluttony is not.. i know violence is most definitely a sin.... But anyhow, I shall avenge myself at lunch tomorrow...

That's all for now.
Hungrily, sleepily, lazily and bloggily yours...

~K.
(in local parlance... Khalley)