The Magic Book!

Long ago I had read this book - Illusions, by Richard Bach. While the book itself is themed like The Matrix trilogy - pointing out the illusory nature of the world we live in and performing miracles that would defy the laws of physics (remember the spoon?), that is somehow not what stayed with me. What I loved most, was the Messiah's handbook, which didn't have any page numbers and would give you the answer that you were in need of most whenever you opened it. Just like magic! And it doesn't stop there. The character goes on to explain that it can be done with any book.

I have come to realize that this concept can be extended to just about anything. Answers can be found anywhere. Books. Paintings. Songs. (They're even "blowin' in the wind", if you believe Bob Dylan!)

But coming back to me and this particular case - I got mine in this Word Porn link that came in my Facebook feed. Despite all my contempt for it, FB was bound to get something right.

In a couple of weeks, I will have more time than I have ever had in the last 12 years. As exciting and romantic the prospect of pre-planned joblessness may sound, it is also scary. There's a constant doubt questioning the decision. And even a fear of freedom. So I'm gathering with both hands, all the signs that give me any sense of hope.

Right now it is these 10 tips. I mean if you can't trust a writer like JRR Tolkein, whom can you trust, really?

Looking forward to getting lost. And looking and finding something.

Love, luck and hope. And faith. And a cheer and a song.

~K.

Odd One Out!

Some of my friends are of the opinion that the Retail Industry owes its existence to women. Oh well... I must be what they call the black sheep. Oh don't get me wrong... it's not that I can't shop. When it comes to buying gifts for people, I can do that with my eyes closed. (Not literally of course, but you know what I mean) But send me to a mall to shop for myself and all I can do is go from store to store looking at stuff... not buying anything... a little pissed with myself, but happy that I'm at least burning calories!

I'm back in the US now. And last weekend I set out to do some serious shopping. No.. seriously! There wasn't anything specific on my agenda. But I did have a couple of nice occasions which deserved some nice gifts. So Sourav and I spent almost a whole day store-hopping and what did we finally return home with? Umm... some groceries, some supplies, some liquor, a couple of books and a couple of movie DVD's from Blockbuster. And not that I didn't look (or was forced to look) for anything for myself. Everything was either too fashionable (where do you think I'll wear that dress?) or too uncomfortable (not THOSE heels!) or just too expensive (300 bucks for that stupid necklace??!! When have you seen me wearing jewelery??) !!! Again, it's not that I don't have a reason to buy stuff for myself... Or (for a change) the money. I do. But aahhh... I'm finally beginning to admit that I just don't have the wits to shop for myself!

If I could, the only thing I'd ever buy for myself or spend any of "money-for-me" for would be in one of these categories - Dining (Food and ahem... Drinks!), Travel (My absolute favourite activity!) and Entertainment (Concerts and Shows.. esp Broadway!). These are the things that make life simple. And enjoyable. And so much fun!

I know some of my friends are smiling or maybe laughing while reading this. They know this is how I am, how I've been all my life. Some of them have been hoping for some time that I'll change a little. Well, I haven't. I'll let this be my confession to the Fashion industry and end it at that. What I'm glad about, meanwhile, is that life continues to be beautiful even when you're dressed out of style! :-)

Peace on earth!

Love always,

~K.

Gosh!

I'm almost scared to come to this site now. It might bite, you know. Or worse, it may have forgotten me.

I've been wanting to write for a very long time now. If for nothing else, then just to say that life of a blogger does not get over after marriage. In fact there's more to write about. More people. More ceremonies. More food. More everything!
In fact I did write one day you know. And that too on a piece of paper! With a pencil! Beat that!

Anyway.. I feel like I've been running around the whole country all this time. From Seattle to Delhi in Dec end. Then to Chennai in Jan. Weekend trips to Bangalore. Jan end to Delhi. And then to Calcutta for the wedding. Then to Chinsurah. To my newly wed house :D. Then to Hyderabad. Again to Chennai. And finally to Bangalore. Then some weekend trips.. one to Delhi (more about that later). But mostly to Hyderabad. Because that's where the husband was, you see. Was - until 2 weeks ago.
And now I'm finally settling down in my own life in my cozy rented apartment (which, btw, we are furnishing as if it was Disney's Castle!)

Why am I telling you all this? 1 - as a matter of explanation of my truancy. 2 - because I'm excited. Nervous too.. but basically excited! :-)

Well Well Well... I'll cut this one here. It's 1 in the night and I've been up finishing off some office work. Working under pressure makes me hyper active I guess. Sometimes even I get surprised at what all I'm able to achieve. Like posting an article on my blog for example... ;-)

More later. And not as late as this post. I promise!

Love to all.
Good luck and God bless!

Cheers always. I mean ALWAYS!

~K.

Tan ta Daaaaannnnn....

My dear people... All those who care to read... (and those who were FORCED to read!) Presenting... (drum rolls in the background) My Husband-Elect! With a term lasting around a couple of hundred years... or the end of one of our lives (whichever comes last!), this is no easy job. And it DEFINITELY doesn't pay!!! (On the contrary it quite means that well... he gotta keep paying to keep that job!) ;-)


Meet Sourav. Sourav Chattopadhyay. The guy who significantly changed my life and is all set to change my name, come February '09. He actually managed to score over Al Pacino and Johnny Depp and Jim Morrison. 'Coz .. well... for starters, he was neither out of reach nor dead. And he shared the same interests as I did. (Or maybe I should say similar... because the time when I was reading Archies and Tintin and Asterix... at the most - Agatha Christies, he was reading the Iliad of Homer! Really... I don't think I even knew anyone who'd read that... DD knows the only reference of the Iliad that I use.. :D) And what's more... he even happened to show the knack and the patience of tolerating me despite my "mad-eyed-moodiness" (sorry JKR... that phrase and that character still belong to you, I'm just borrowing it.), my extremely unpredictable and incontrollable temper and most of all.. my absolutely corny non-sense of humour! And that too not just for a day or two. But he did that consistently for 3 months and continues to do so even now. Now THAT'S what I call real talent! (Take a bow sweetie!)

I'd mentioned in one of my previous posts - I need to see some of myself being transferred to the other person the way I take in some of him. Though I do see that happening, what's funny is what I've given in return of what I got... He writes me poetry, and I give him childish limericks. He gives me Rabindra Sangeet and some priceless Satyajit Ray classics and I get him to watch Jab We Met. He teaches me Bangla and I've taught him... well... blblblblblblll.. :D

Too late to worry about all this. The vows have been taken. (Including the all important "What is yours is mine... what is mine is also mine... and what is ours is ALSO mine!"). We still have to go through the entire hullabaloo called marriage with all its exotic rites and rituals in both Pahadi flavour and Bengali. But compared to all that has already happened, that should be a piece of cake!

Just one thing left to say now - *Touchwood*

So that's how it goes... My reason why 2008 has really been the year of Change! And why the change will bring a whole lot of better tomorrows!

Until later...

Love, Luck and Hope... and Happiness!
~K.

Ice Ice Baby!

Having a bad day? Feel like blowing off your lid? Or maybe knocking someone down?

When anger strikes... Pop some ice into your mouth!

I swear it works like magic. Trust me. It did right now.
If only I'd known this earlier, I'd have saved myself some broken glasses, a nearly broken cell phone and some things that I'm not really proud of. Basically a whole lot of trouble.

I still don't say I've learnt the art of Anger Management. It remains to be one of the ever elusive things in my life. (Another being perfect abs!). But I do think that I've got the key to delay the impulsive explosions that I've been having in the past. Hallelujah!

Life... is kinda nice. :)

~K.

psst - Jag... Bhai you're the best! Ab kuchh instant abs ke liye bhi bata de... :D

Status call

Remember this - ?
Five Things Planned for the Next Five Years
1. Study.
2. Get into a field of work I can relate to.
3. Read a classic.
4. Fall in love.
5. Stay 24.

Let's see where I am on these -

Study - I vaguely remember something about this... this.. "thing". Studying is now confined to reading the many PDF and document files and more such for my certifications. I could pull out a sigh after this. But that'll only make me feel like a loser. So, sigh suppressed.

Field of work - Let's not even get there. That's out of bounds to everyone (including me). Sigh still suppressed. :P

Read a classic - Well I read Nineteen Eighty Four. And All Quiet on the Western Front. And The Lord of The Rings. These days I'm reading a biography of The Beatles! and Gitanjali by Rabindranath Tagore. All classics in their fields.
Read a classic - Check!

Fall in love - Here is where I struck gold! I did. And well... not just once. And life has changed ever since. I have changed ever since. I like to think I've grown up. (More on this when I talk about the fifth point in the above list.) I even came to realize that I need not just love but a little sense of pride as well. And while I can compromise a little on the former, there's no way I'd give up even an ounce of the latter! What's more - I can strive to earn the pride, but the love must come irrespective of that.
Oh.. and yes.. I need to see some of myself being transferred to the other person the way I take in some of him.
Anyway... Fall in love - Check!

Stay 24 - I have no idea how to gauge that... While I think I grew up a little, some of my friends claim I never even reached 24. I think I'd be a part of the "Ageless body; Timeless mind" gang. I doubt if I look my age. And well... I never know what time it is... :P I could also be vice versa.. because my mind doesn't seem to know my age. And my body has little clue of time. Never mind. :P
I'll still take it as a success though. Because you see, the point was not growing old!
Stay 24 - Check!

My score until now- 3/5. Not bad I'd say. I have 2 more years to go to get the remaining 2 checks. Do-able! Or so I hope... :D

I owe a lot more to this space. Change seems to be the theme of the year 2008. More on that later. I have a lot of time these days.. I'll keep writing in. :-)

Meanwhile... haffun!


Cheers!
~K.

Niiiiice

Was looking for something and found something else... Liked what I found and hence here it is...

Definition of run -

Main Entry:	run
Part of Speech:	verb
Definition:	To move swiftly on foot so that both feet leave the ground during each stride.

I always knew I could fly... That's one item off my 'To do' list... Oh what a glorious weekend! :)


~K.

Blblblblblbl...

That's my word for 'Gibberish'. It's a noun. It's what happens when a million thoughts are running inside my head in a random, disorganized fashion. And when I try to stream them into a piece of structured, sensible, purposeful expression, written or verbal, typically a 'blblblblbll' is what comes out.

After a long time, here's one.

A couple of weeks ago, I attended this session on "Art of Living". I went there simply because I was curious. The session (if not the art itself) was interesting, to say the least. As a part of that session, the instructor asked us to close our eyes and just concentrate. On our surroundings, the noises outside, then ourselves, where we were sitting, then on our body, the various parts of it starting from the toes gradually moving up to our head.

Next he asked us to concentrate on the thoughts inside our brain. And that is when I realized how many there were. I could see those tiny little things scurrying inside my head, each trying to grab my attention, as if they were all jealous of the others. And the funny thing is, I knew exactly what all of those thoughts were. And even where they originated from.

Finally he asked us to concentrate on our emotions. And that was where I got lost. I could not understand what I was feeling. Apart from the fact that I wanted to pee, there was no trace of any of the feelings I have known until now. Happiness, grief, anger, regret, guilt - nothing. And that's when more thoughts came into my head. Have I become stoned to emotions? Or have I become so scared to feel that I have gone into a state of denial? Or more practically - Does physical discomfort override the emotions that may be present inside us?

Looking back, I don't think my state of emotional blankness was because of the first two points. I dismissed those thoughts as those which strike you in a state of panic. That brings us to the third (assuming that I was simply not feeling anything and there was really no reason to make a blog out of that). Anyway, what I'm now trying to figure out is this - Are we driven by our emotions or our physical sensations? I extend this question from I to we, because I consider myself quite the average, ordinary kind of a person. So I present these questions for all of us to consider. Between the mind and the body - who rules whom? And, most importantly, which one of these two is us? Am I, for instance, my mind or my body? If I am only one of them, what happens when the other one gains power over the I? Do I lose myself? Or am I just transformed into something that I was hitherto not?


Ah well... that is what a blblblbbll is. I could submit it to the Oxford lexicons if only I could standardize the number of b's and l's in it.

Meanwhile, let me borrow some words from Nirvana to seal this piece of writing off - I find it hard, it's hard to find. Well, whatever, never mind.

Believe me, if I could have said it better myself, I would have...


Love nevertheless,
~K.

Impressions...

Among alcoholic drinks, Scotch remains my favourite. I love the smell and the smoothness of it. And the way it burns your throat when you take a good strong sip or a gulp... And then the way it stays with you... And of course... I love its colour.
There used to be an ad on TV long ago... of one of the Johnny Walker labels (Black, most probably) or some other brand of Scotch.. There was this middle aged guy who had a very friendly face and an equally friendly voice. This guy poured some Scotch in a clear glass... put in a couple of ice cubes and was looking at it against the daylight. All this while he was describing what he felt about it.
There are some things that I can't forget about that ad - The tinkling sound of the ice cubes against each other and against the glass, the consistency and texture of the liquor, and the wonderful colour of it. The guy said it looks like the sun rising from your drink. And I still remember it SO vividly. That ad made such an everlasting impression, that I think it may have played a significant factor in my fondness for the drink.

The other (more) significant factor being Dad.

He's also responsible for coffee...by the way.

Cheers.. on whatever you are drinking! A glass of cold water can be a lot more satisfying than any other drink in the world.

~K.

psst:
1. This (also) came out of a mail I wrote to a friend. The discussion was a comparison between Vodka and Scotch. Sigh. I know Mom won't approve of such an open discussion on a fondness for any alcohol. :-) Oops! A thousand apologies!
2. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Yes it is.
3. I'll probably continue a little more in this series. Not alcohol. I mean impressions. The books that I read, the songs that I heard, the things that I saw or did (including ads)... that have stayed with me. So... see ya again... soon!
~K.

The other side...

Siiiigh....

25 years of my life is still...
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope...
For a destination.
I realized quickly when I knew I should
That the world was made up of this brotherhood
Of man. For whatever that means.
And so I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bed
Just to get it all out what's in my head
And I am feeling a little peculiar
And so I wake in the morning and I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream at the top of my lungs
What's going on?
And I say, hey hey hey hey
I said hey, what's going on?

And I try, oh my god do I try
I try all the time, in this institution
And I pray, oh my god do I pray
I pray every single day
For a revolution
And so I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bed
Just to get it all out what's in my head
And I am feeling a little peculiar
And so I wake in the morning and I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream at the top of my lungs
What's going on?
And I say, hey hey hey hey
I said hey, what's going on?
Twenty-five years and my life is still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination...

(What's Up... by 4 Non Blondes)

Siiigh... 25 years... what a journey... and even though I haven't reached there yet... that hill of hope is a wonderful, perennial destination. I still remember the time when I'd written that I want to stay 24 for the next 5 years. And that was a little more than a year ago. And now, in less than an hour, I'll cross into the other side of 25.
Time flies... And how... And it continues to fly... and well... so do I. I wonder how this year will turn out to be. Here's wishing me a good one... And here's wishing everyone else that they are around wishing me a good year all my life...

Amen.

~K.

2007!!!

Gone... out of the window... lost somewhere in the thin air. And I didn't even realize when it went away. It feels like just yesterday that I was wishing people a Happy 2007 and wondering where 2006 had gone.

And where DID 2007 go? Spending late nights at work and shuttling between Shols and M-city (my two office locations back in Chennai) through the first quarter and a half (now tell me how long was that.. ;-) ). Then zipped in to Stamford. A storm in a teacup... that's exactly what it was. Another 3 months gone. Change of scene - Moved to Seattle. Beautiful place. Very scenic. But kinda grey. Some more reds and oranges and yellows would have done it. But well, never mind. Peace and quiet in the hillside after that. Next thing I remember is November and December which again flew past ending in the 31st when I sat down thinking about all this.

Anyway... back to where I was. Irrespective of how I've celebrated New Year's eve - whether roaming around in the streets of Manhattan or just quietly sleeping the night away, I have almost always spent December 31st wondering where the hell the whole year went. Oh well... the wonder-ful person that I am, I did my share of wondering this year as well (or should it be last year). And like all other years, I decided to make the best out of the new one coming my way. And I'm so sure I will spend December 31st 2008 in the same retrospective mood that I am so used to.

A couple of things that I want to do in this year -
1. Write a couple of articles in Hindi. I think in English now... gotta stay in tune with our Raashtra Bhaasha. It's so rich!
2. Learn to cycle. (I couldn't have made the fact more public... but well... I can't cycle... tee hee)
3. Ride a cycle on the Golden Gate bridge or at least on Pier 39. (I might get scared on the bridge)
4. Go for sky diving.
5. Read a couple of long pending books.
6. Watch some more Broadway shows.
7. Buy a nice evening dress and wear it. Not just at the shop in the trial room but also wear it to someplace nice.

Hoo boy.. Let me not get too carried away. If I put a lot of these action items here, end of 2008 is going to be really troublesome. Will keep myself in check while I can.

You all have a wonderful and satisfying year! Live a beautiful life. Stay happy, healthy and fit!

Cheers!!


~K.

Fridays!!!

One of the most beautiful sounds in the English vocabulary... Comes second only to Free Food and of course Free Drinks!!!

Here in Seattle, the only thing I dislike about Fridays is that we are the last time zone in the world to reach Friday evening. We lag behind every other place in the world. Right now it's around Friday, 4:30 pm PST... Some of my friends in EST have already got out of office and are driving down to someplace fun! My friends in India might already have had their Friday night parties, and would probably be enjoying the aftermath of those... or maybe sleeping blissfully, dreaming about it. And me, well... I am still in office.. anticipating the party tonight!!

This friend of mine (also in PST) says the good thing about this time zone is that while people would be nursing their hangovers, we will still be getting drunk! Ahhh... now THAT is a thought to raise a toast to!

All ye people in the leading time zones, enjoy your weekend. While you guys start your work next Monday or maybe gear up for it, I'll still be having mine!

On that note, Cheers!!

~K.